Picky Eating Isn’t Just Picky Eating

Texture was one of the first things we noticed with Dakota.

She wasn’t the baby who would try everything. In fact, she avoided most things. Bananas? Absolutely not—especially not touching them. Mashed potatoes? Too mushy. Anything soft or unpredictable? Hard pass.

And then… she found her first love: mac and cheese.

But not just any mac and cheese. It couldn’t be too creamy. No clumps of powdered cheese. And at one point, we even refused certain noodle shapes entirely.

Sound familiar? Please say yes—because sometimes picky eating feels incredibly isolating. Like you’re standing on an island surrounded by food choices… and none of them work for your child.

We’ve chosen restaurants based solely on what Dakota might eat. If the kids’ menu says Kraft mac and cheese, it’s probably a place we’ll visit again.

We’ve done food therapy—with moments that felt huge to us, even if they seemed small to others. Watching her touch a cheeseburger for the first time? We were practically jumping up and down.

Yes—touching.

Because for Dakota, food is scary. It’s unpredictable. Melted cheese doesn’t look or feel like cold cheese. String cheese is different from sliced cheese, which is different from shredded cheese. The same “food” can show up in so many forms—and each one feels new, unfamiliar, and overwhelming.

And we’ve heard it all.

Everyone has an opinion.
“Just have her try it.”
“She’ll eat when she’s hungry.”
“You’re giving her too many options.”

This one is still hard for my husband. That feeling of “if I could just get her to try it…”

But what we’ve learned—through experience and through therapy—is that forcing food doesn’t help. It actually pushes progress backward.

So we celebrate the wins.

A new food sitting on her plate without being thrown? That’s a win.
Trying something new because she helped cook it with Grandma? Huge win. (One time it was a chickpea straight from the can… and she went back for seconds.)

We also learn to roll with the changes.

Safe foods don’t always stay safe. French toast sticks—once a favorite—are now missing their end pieces because she won’t eat them anymore. Grapes? She discovered seeds exist, and now they’re under heavy scrutiny.

It’s constantly evolving.

So mamas, if your pediatrician is giving you a hard time about how much mac and cheese your child eats—just know you’re not alone.

We’re right there with you.

We are actively working to expand her food repertoire. But for now? She’s fed. She’s happy. And that matters too.

Through multiple therapies, we’ve gathered tools, strategies, and visual supports that have helped us along the way. We created a simple chart designed just for families like ours.

If you’d like a laminated copy sent to you, message or email us your address—we’d love to send you one, on us.

Ally Fetters